Tips for Making the First Day of School Great

Your child’s first week of preschool can be a daunting experience for both you and your child. If your child has never been away from you or has only stayed with relatives the adjustment period when starting preschool may take a little longer.

Creating a smooth transition at drop off time may take a few days and for some children it may take longer. Following a routine and staying calm yourself are two ways you can make the transition a little easier. While no parent can guarantee no tears, there are some things you can do as a parent to make starting preschool easier on both you the parent and your child.

Get Excited – Help your child get excited about preschool by talking about it in a positive light. Talk about new friends, activities and how it is only for a short time. Do not let your child hear you talk negatively about teachers or other children and don’t make them feel bad by telling them you will miss them. Children carry our burdens easier then we think and if they know you will miss them, they may suffer from separation anxiety. Keep things light and upbeat.

Meet teachers, parents and other children – If your preschool has a meet the teacher day or some form of open house, make time to attend. Not only will it let your child get a good look at their new surroundings but you can make contact with other parents and hold a play date before school starts. Helping your child get to know other kids that will be in their class can help those separation fears on the first few days.

Have a calm and relaxed morning – Give yourselves time to eat breakfast and have everything ready without rushing through the morning. This will help keep both you and your child calmer. Just make sure you give yourself enough time that you will not be late.

Get to school a little early – Getting to preschool a little earlier, especially on the first day, will let your child adjust to their new surroundings without being bombarded by other children. Another great thing about getting their earlier is your child will get to talk to their teacher before the busyness of the day begins.

Stay calm and composed – If you shed tears in front of your child it is quite possible that your child will get upset. It is hard as a parent to leave your child in another persons hands. Stay calm till you leave the classroom then you can head to the car with tissue in hand.

Short and sweet – Keeping your goodbyes short and sweet will help both you and your child. Give a quick hug and let them know you will be back soon or you can give a specific, like after lunch or nap time. Always make sure you say your goodbyes as sneaking out could make the situation worse. If your child is upset leave and stand out in the hallway for a while. Most of the time you will find they calm quickly once you have left the room.

Following these ideas can help the first days or preschool run a little smoother. If your child does tend to be an emotional child there may be some tears and tantrums when starting preschool. Just remember that this time will pass and soon he will be running to class to join his friends.

Why Routines Are Important for Young Children

 

One of the most important things that you can do to make your young child feel safe is to establish as much routine in his life as possible. Children (and adults) feel the most secure when their lives are predictable. When adults provide environments that feel safe, children learn that they can trust others to take care of them and meet their needs, so they become free to relax and explore their world.

Young children do not yet fully understand the concept of time, so they do not order their lives by hours and minutes, but rather by the events that happen. When events happen in the same order every day, children have a better understanding of their world, and therefore feel more secure.  A regular schedule gives children a way to order and organize their lives. When young children know what to expect, they become more confident in both themselves and the world around them. They know they will not be confronted with unfamiliar tasks that they are for which they are unprepared.

A young child’s brain is still undergoing major development, especially the part of the brain that is able to plan ahead and make predictions about the future. A routine helps kids practice making these simple predictions, as well as understand concepts such as “before and after.”  Routines also help children develop self-control because they know they have to wait until a certain time to do a particular activity. A regular schedule fosters responsibility and independence because children will be able to perform more activities on their own if they have done the same activities many times before in the same environment.

A routine is especially important during particularly difficult times of day, such as bedtime or getting dressed in the morning. When there is a routine in place, there can be a little argument because the expectations for behavior are taken for granted. Therefore, a major benefit of establishing routines is that you will cut down on stress for yourself. Keeping to a routine may sound like an impossible task when you are overwhelmed with balancing a constantly changing schedule for multiple members of your household. However, even implementing the smallest routine can make a big difference. Here are 5 ideas for starting a routine in your home:

  1. Plan at least one meal per day that you have together as a family. This meal does not have to be dinner; even a 15-minute breakfast where everyone gets to share their plans for the day can be effective. Turn off the television and do not answer the phone during your family time. This is a great way to start a routine that allows children to take responsibility, even for something small, such as carrying the silverware to the table.
  2. Have a bedtime ritual, which will help children slowly calm down, and allow them to associate certain activities with getting sleepy. Think about what calms your child. Is it taking a bath? Reading a story? Listening to soft music? Always do the bedtime preparation in the same order, and ask your child questions such as, “What do we do after we put on our pajamas?” A great item to include in the bedtime ritual is that of talking about your day. Let your child tell you what he did that day, and prompt him if he forgets. This part of the routine not only helps children with memory, time orientation, and language skills, but it also shows them that you care about what they did that day.
  3. Include preparation for transitions in the routine. For example, say, “We have 10 minutes left before we start getting ready for bed. When the big hand gets to the 12, it will be time to put on your pajamas.”
  4. Work together to make pictures that indicate each step of the routine, put the pictures in order on a colorful sheet of paper, and hang the finished product in your child’s room. You will not only be helping build creativity in your child, but you will also promote self-sufficiency, as your child will be able to look at the pictures to identify what step comes next. These pictures are easy to get off the computer!
  5. Although routine is very important for young children, do not be too rigid. Children do need to learn how be flexible and deal with minor changes. If there is an interruption to the routine, tell your child, “I know we usually do x, but today we are going to do y because (reason). Tomorrow we will go back to our usual schedule.” If most of their day is predictable, young children will be able to deal with small changes, especially if they are prepared for the changes and see you modeling calm behavior as you deal with problems that occur.

 

It is never too late to start a routine. You set a good example for your child when you tell her, “The way that we have been doing things has not been working. We are going to try something new. Here is our new schedule.” While you should definitely be open to the fact that the schedule may need some adjustment, you also need to be firm in sticking to the new routine. At first, your child will try to get you to break the routine, but do not give in to old habits. Young children need both consistency and limits.  Know ahead of time that your child will have difficulty adjusting, and be prepared with how you will handle this resistance.

The earlier that you begin to order your child’s life, the easier it will be. When you stick to a routine, you teach your child how to arrange her time in a manner that is efficient, productive, and cuts down on stress. This sense of order is not only important for making your young child feel secure at this moment, but it will also allow your child to internalize an automatic sense of how to organize her own life as she grows up…

The Toddler Motto: I want to do this alone!

Toddlers are naturally eager to learn how to care for themselves.  “I’ll do it myself” might well be the refrain for the toddler years.

Unfortunately, our day-to-day lives often make for less than ideal circumstances to help our children achieve the independence they crave.  Our homes are not optimized around a little person with his height of less than 3 feet: objects are hard to reach, too heavy or too big for little hands to use.  Our cays are not set up to move at hir speed.  We rarely just happen to have 10 spare minutes to wait while our 2-year-old puts on hir jacket!

Yet, enabling a toddler to become more independent has huge benefits, both near-term and long-term.  Power struggles decrease when a child feels more in control.  Temper tantrums are less frequent when a toddler is busy doing things for himself rather than resisting his parent’s efforts to do things for him!  A child who feels capable because he can act in the world, without needing to rely on Mom or Dad for every little thing, is a child who is developing self -confidence.  The psychologist Madeline Levine writes: “Self-esteem doesn’t contribute much to success.  But success contributes mightily to self-esteem.  Kids have to ‘do’ something and do it well, to get a self-esteem boost.”

Children who start to contribute to the home’s smooth functioning in little ways reap many long-term benefits.

  • Give your child access in the kitchen.  Arrange plates and silverware for him on a low open shelf, or in a drawer.  Provide a step stool so he can reach the counter to work with you or place a small table and chair in the kitchen for him to work.
  • Organize the family room so he can participate.  Toddlers don’t deal well with clutter.  It’s best to offer low shelves with only a few toys out at a time and to and a place for each item.  That way, he can put his things away and find them when he needs them.
  • Set up her room and bathroom to support her growing independence in dressing and washing up.  Look for a high step stool that will enable your child to access the sink. In her room, display a few  (only 3-4) sets of clothing on a low shelf for in shallow baskets.  These are the clothes she can choose from every morning. Make sure there is a clothes hamper for her to place dirty clothes in at the end of the day.
  • Begin with easy skills first and teach individual skills separately, step by step.  First skills don’t necessarily mean the most obvious skills.  In our family, one of the first contributions my son made was to help make coffee; he loved scooping the beans into the grinder!  Over time, we added other steps: opening the difficult closure of the coffee bean container, then closing it. Then placing the cover on the grinder (tricky since it only goes on one way and has to be totally vertical).  Getting the filter paper out of the cupboard and carefully folding it so it fits in the filter cone.  He can’t quite make the coffee by himself yet- the full can of water is still too heavy for him to pour), but he feels like he’s making me coffee and it’s become a treasured part of our morning routine!

Here are some skills your toddler might well be ready for:

  • Setting his place at the table.  You can make him a placemat with outlines of plate, spoon, fork, and cup.  Or you can show him one thing at a time.
  • Feeding himself.  Start with finger foods, then introduce a spoon and fork.  Allow time for your 2-year-old to feed himself- resist the urge to take over!
  • Drinking out of a small glass or cup, not a sippy cup or other closed cup.
  • Carrying dirty dishes to the kitchen.  An older toddler can scrape his plant into the trash or compost bin, and perhaps even place it in the dishwasher with some coaching.
  • Putting on his clothes, especially underwear, pants, and skirts.  Even jackets are possible
  • Taking off his clothes (with the exception fo tight fitting t-shirts, which can be a struggle for a while).
  • Putting dirty laundry in a hamper after undressing.
  • Hanging up a jacket on a peg or even a small hanger
  • Taking off his shoes and placing the mn a designated spot (basket or low shelf).
  • Washing hands with soap and water and drying them independently.

Final tips:

Slow Down.  At home, you won’t always have the time to slow down for your child.  But it helps to think through your day to see if you can make time with those tasks that encourage your child’s independence.  If weekdays are just too crazy (we understand!), set aside an hour or two on the weekend.  Spend time together in the kitchen, for example, to jointly prepare a meal.

Embrace Error. The idea to keep in mind as you help your child become more independent at home is that it doesn’t have to be perfect.  Get some cheap unbreakable plates that are specially for your child.  You’ve set out clothing choices; if your child mixes and matches in ways you would never think about, it’s not a big deal. After all, every day isn’t Picture day.

As Dr. Montessor says, “These words reveal the childn’s inner needs: ‘Help me to do it alone’.

Celebrate Spring with Iridescent Soap Bubbles

Spring means more time outside and blowing bubbles is fun.  So, try making your own bubbles with 4 easily obtained ingredients:

Bubbles1 C water

2 Tbs liquid detergent

1 Tbs glycerine

1/2 tsp sugar

Mix together until sugar melts and blow.  You’ll have rainbow spheres. ***

*** Caution: although it’s safe to use some bubbles inside, these will make circular stains if they land on carpet.  Of course you could call the stains alien footprints, but it may be easier to just keep the bubbles out of doors.

Preparing for the unexpected: disaster plans and kits

safety sackIn Colorado, you must be ready for the unexpected.   This could include flash floods, tornados, and even blizzards.   When designing your family emergency plan and disaster kit, there are a number of things to keep in mind.

Usually these kits are also called ’72-hour kits’ because you need to plan to be without power and water for 72 hours. If it is less, great, but you do not want to run out of provisions too soon.  Typically, the authorities will either have your power back on within 72 hours, or have you someplace safe within this time frame.

Be Prepared

It is very important to be prepared for anything life throws at you, and a disaster is no exception.  Maintaining a home emergency supply kit is the best way to prepare for any type of disaster.

It is true that there are already a number of items in your home that you rely on every day, and that you could grab in case of emergency, but a ready-made emergency kit will contain these items, and more.

Your family’s disaster kit should contain the basics.  Stock it with essentials for each person in your household, providing them with what they will need to survive. This should include fresh food and water as well as medical supplies.  If anyone in your family takes prescription drugs it is important to have at least 3 days’ worth of the medication on hand in the kit.

It is also important for you to periodically inventory and restock your disaster kit.  Typically this should be done every six months.

Food and Water

It is important to stock non-perishables in your kit.  These are foods that require no refrigeration. You will also want to look to foods that require no preparation or cooking, either, because you will most likely be without power.

As you purchase and stock your disaster kit, you will want to keep in mind each member of your family’s likes and dislikes.  No one wants to be faced with days’ worth of food that they just do not like; and of course, keep any allergies in mind.  Look for foods that you will all enjoy, but that are also nutritious, too, as this food will need to sustain you and keep you going.

Make sure to plan for special needs, too, such as nursing mothers, babies and the elderly.

Many of your food options will probably be canned, so make sure that you have a manual can opener in your kit as well as plenty of disposable utensils.

When you get ready to prepare your kit, remember that each person needs at least 2,000 calories per day.  In addition, you will want to put away at least a gallon of water per person per day. This will be used both for drinking and sanitation.

In Colorado, all counties have provisions for pets, too.  Make sure to keep this in mind when designing your family emergency plan and disaster kit.  Don’t forget to pack their food, too, along with plenty of water.

Additional Supplies

Additionally, make sure that your disaster kit contains flashlights and extra batteries, reading material and perhaps card games or toys for the children, an NOAA weather radio that has tone alerts and extra batteries for it, as well.

A first aid kit is a must. You can build your own or purchase an already stocked kit.  Also, include a whistle to signal for help, a dust mask for each member of your family, garbage bags, a wrench or pliers to turn off your utilities and a cell phone with a charger.

Teaching Diversity in A Homogenous setting

diversityOne of the easiest ways to teach diversity to children is to have them experience it. Interacting with people who have different cultural backgrounds, different physical and social abilities, and a variety of appearances helps to teach tolerance, respect, and acceptance. How can parent and educators do this, however, when the child’s classroom and programs are so similar to their home? Here’s some tips to teach diversity in a homogenous setting.

1. Understanding Diversity

The first step to teaching diversity is to understand it. Diversity is more than just a unit on world cultures or celebrating cultural holidays like Cinco de Mayo. Singling out diversity education as an individual topic only reinforces the separateness of different cultures. Instead, to understand the differences among people children must learn about themselves and how they fit into their own communities and then learn about those who are different from them and how those individuals fit into different communities. Only then can they visualize how we all fit together in the global community.

2. Real Experience

Reading books and discussing other cultures is only the first step towards understanding people who are different. To truly appreciate a different culture, especially for children, direct experience is necessary. It is essential that the classroom contain a variety of materials that show more than just one culture and that the art, toys, and pictures used throughout the school represent many backgrounds.

Children also need direct interaction with people who are different from them. Inside the classroom this can be done by taking field trips, inviting guests to speak to the children, or by pairing up pen pals outside the community. Outside the classroom, kids can visit their parents’ workplaces, cultural museums, or simply explore the neighborhood around them seeking out differences.

3. Challenge Stereotypes

Even in fairly homogenous situations, there is room to challenge the stereotypes within the small group. For example, if a child expresses the idea that all men wear pants or that girls can’t be scientists, it is the perfect time to have a conversation about possibilities. Talk about the ideas that girls can hold important jobs and that boys can raise children. Challenge stereotypes about sports and race, income levels and intelligence, and other common falsehoods.

4. Differences as Assets

The persistent thread through all of these ideas should be to show the differences among people as assets rather than deficits. For example, a young child that speaks English at school and another language in the home will have a tremendous advantage throughout life and shouldn’t be seen as someone who is “less than.” Children should understand that world is made up of countless cultures and the more of these cultures that we can understand, the more tools we will have to find success throughout life.

Consistency is Key

Adding a multicultural unit to the school curriculum isn’t enough to truly help children become comfortable and curious about diversity. In order to successfully do this, these ideas must be present in everyday activities at school and in everyday conversations in the home. Understanding differences among people should be a continuous process, one where the children become excited and inspired by contrasting cultures and seek out new cultural concepts to find out what they can learn.

Healthy Eyesight: Preschool Vision

eyeglassesThe preschool years are important in helping to develop visual skills. This is the time period in which they are fine tuning their vision developed during their infant and toddler years. Many of the activities that your child enjoys doing also help in this matter: building with blocks, rolling a ball, coloring, writing their name, or riding a tricycle.

However, 1 in 20 preschoolers has a vision problem. It is important that you do your best in helping your child to strengthen her visual skills, but that you also notice the signs that she may be having some troubles seeing.

Symptoms of possible preschool vision problems include:

  • Holding a book too close to his face
  • Sitting too close to the TV
  • Squinting
  • Tilting her head
  • Frequently rubbing eyes, even when he isn’t sleepy
  • Sensitivity to light
  • Watery eyes
  • Closing one eye to read or watch TV
  • Short attention span
  • Complaining about headaches/pain
  • Eye turning in or out
  • Avoiding activities that have to do with hand-eye coordination: playing ball or tag, riding a bike, or even coloring or reading

If your child suffers from any of these signs, you should call your child’s pediatrician to schedule a screening. Your child’s school or pediatrician may first perform a screening to determine if your child might be suffering from vision problems. If so, then an optometrist will perform an eye examination. (It is important to remember that a screening cannot always accurately determine if vision issues are present. If your child passes the screening, but is still exhibiting warning signs, then you should call an optometrist.)

For child health in general, and to help with visual efficiency, it is important for your child to maintain a balanced diet and good sleep habits as well as stay hydrated throughout the day. There are many opportunities that you can offer your child to help strengthen visual skills:

  • Coloring, drawing, or reading
  • Throwing a ball or bean bag back and forth
  • Finger painting
  • Putting together puzzles
  • Building with blocks
  • Playing with other children
  • Riding a bike
  • Cutting and pasting paper crafts

When your child is starting school, it is important that he is seeing clearly. He needs to be able to see what the teacher is showing as well as be able to focus and pay attention in school. Visual problems that are not quickly corrected can often turn into larger issues, such as a lazy eye or cross-eye. Although these issues can be corrected, it is no longer as simple as nearsightedness or farsightedness. It is important to fix vision problems quickly so that the brain is not able to accommodate the problem.

 

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How to Pull it Together When You’re Parenting on Empty

stressed parent

Gretchen Rubin, Author of a book called “The Happiness Project” said that the days are long, but the years are short. I try to focus on the fact that the years are short.  As my six-year-old grandson is having surgery, I sit in the waiting room thinking how can he be six years old? He was just born yesterday.  In fact my twenty-five year old son was born just the day before. J These years are passing so quickly, and I want to enjoy every moment with my family\

But it’s also true that the days can be long. Long and loud and messy. We all have those days — or string of days — when we feel like we’re at the end of a very frayed and quickly unraveling rope.  You spent half of the night awake, cleaning up vomit or holding a baby who decided it was time to party.  Or maybe both.  In your bleary-eyed state, you enjoy a breakfast of Mountain Dew as you simultaneously listen to one child tell a compelling (and very detailed) story about how to defeat super-villains with ordinary household objects, soothe another whose path through the kitchen coincided perfectly with the refrigerator door you just opened, and watch your toddler set off a rapid chain reaction of destruction across the entire counter top that ends with dumping out the pitcher of milk.  The entire pitcher.   Sometimes you feel as empty as that darn pitcher.

 

It’s hard to be your kids’ everything when you feel like you’re running on nothing.  (Well, Mountain Dew and nothing.) Sometimes you might feel like you are the only one having those days.  But I guarantee you aren’t. Knowing there are plenty of other parents exhausted and dealing with the same strenuous days and weeks we all find ourselves in now and then I thought I’d share some thoughts with you.  Keep in mind you don’t have to wait for a crisis to take care of yourself!

 

Reassess Your Habits. Many of us, self-included, live by our calendars. But we forget to schedule fun.  Realizing that alone has salvaged several days for me.  A quick game of Uno with the boys before bed time, or a morning spent at the park can change the entire tone of the day.

 

Let it Go (You started singing to yourself there, didn’t you?)

The yellow ring around the bathroom sink will live to see another day. Remind yourself during those stressful days to pick just ONE task to try to accomplish each day (in addition to keeping everyone alive, of course).  A trip to the grocery store? Congratulations! Laundry done?  Major accomplishment!  Laundry only started?  Good enough! Sometimes the key to lowering stress is to reduce the demands or commitments from the outside, but often the biggest thing is simply lowering the expectations we issue from within ourselves.

 

Loosen Up, But Keep a Rhythm, as you let go a bit, don’t go too far.  Keep a “loose rhythm”.  In high-stress parenting seasons we are tempted to “throw routine out the window, but that always backfires.”  So instead I encourage you to keep an adjusted routine and go easy, particularly when it comes to managing expectations.

 

Feed Your Soul.   You know the analogy.  Airlines remind us to put on our own oxygen masks before attending to others.  We aren’t much help to others if we haven’t helped ourselves.  Though it seems counter-intuitive when stress is high, we benefit greatly from doing something for ourselves first so we can better serve our little ones. Try to create a moment now and then for something that feeds your soul.  Even if it has to take on an abbreviated form.

 

And finally, Let People Help. This advice came from my big brother, who shares the same genetic flaw I have that causes chronic and obstinate independence.  Like my own grandson, I have the tendency to stubbornly declare I will do it all myself.  And, just as I do with my grandson, the people around me stand by, waiting for me to finally realize I need their help.

 

Accept offers to help.  Dare to ask for help.  Hire help if you have to and can afford it. Asking for help isn’t a weakness.  It’s a strong cord that weaves us together with those around us in a sense of belonging and community.  Open yourself up to your village!

 

Taming Temper Tantrums

I'm not listening

 

Temper tantrums are the worst, and they tend to happen at the most inopportune moments.  If you are the parent, or the grandparent, of a young child, knowing how to diffuse (or even prevent) a tantrum is an essential skill to have.

Teach Language

One way to prevent temper tantrums is to help improve your child’s ability to express how what he or she is feeling, or thinking. It is often that inability to express themselves that leads to anger.  If your child knows how to express himself, you might be able to get past the tantrum stage quickly.

The best way to do this is to teach and discuss the language of feelings.  When we are first teaching children to read, or to understand, we tend to teach them nouns, and we spend a lot of time doing it.

Nouns are really only a small part of the vocabulary, though, and when your children are trying to get a point across to you, nouns do them very little good.  So, try to start labeling feelings when you teach your child words.  When you are tired, tell your son or daughter, “Mommy is tired!” Tell them what would make you feel better, for example taking a nap, or just sitting down to rest.

Or, when you are happy, tell them that, too.  “Mommy is so happy!  I love ice cream!”  Use this especially with words that will help them get over their frustrations, such as hungry, tired, thirsty, angry, sad, etc.

If you know how your child feels, you can help to alleviate those feelings and nip that temper tantrum in the bud. As an added bonus, you get some quality teaching time with her.

Teaching moments can be as fun as asking your child how a cartoon character on television is feeling, or how a character in a book is feeling, or how her stuffed animal is feeling. Once they can express these emotions successfully they will no longer feel frustrated.

Pay Attention

Keep a tantrum diary detailing what ignites your child.  This will help you to pick up on the about-to-flare-up signals and quickly distract her/him into a more calming activity.

If your toddler usually has an afternoon melt down, do  shopping and errands in the morning.  Is he or she getting enough sleep?  You may need to adjust bed or nap time.

You need to let children  know early on that tantrums don’t work. Once your toddler realizes that manipulative tantrums will not get them any where, this behavior will self-destruct This may mean waiting out a tantrum by ignoring it.  Make sure the child is in a safe place and let him/her scream.   You may have to leave the store or restaurant.  You may have to pull over.  But if you react with benign indifference a few times the behavior will fade.  If tantrums have become a habit, they may get worse before they get better.  Hang in there and hang tough.

Post tantrum

Tantrums will happen, no matter what you do, but you can use that ‘post tantrum cooling off period’ to talk about what went wrong, and figure out how to avoid this problem in the future.  You can ask your child how he or she was feeling, what made him feel this way, etc.  Smaller children will not have the words to really express these things, but if they can voice those emotions that we mentioned before, you are well on your way to understanding what happened, and how to avoid this problem in the future.  After everyone is calm, it’s fun and effective for kids as young as 2.5 or 3 to role play how to act in situations.  They get a kick out of watching you mimicking a tantrum then acting out, with them, a more acceptable way to get what they want.

If you are out shopping, it may simply be that your child is tired, and needs a break. However, if he does not tell you, and goes right into meltdown mode, no one wins.  If you can get your child to say, “I am tired” or “I need a rest” before you head out the door you might be able to save yourself a headache.

Usually a tantrum is the last straw, for your child! It simply means that he has had it!  He is tired, he is cranky, he is hungry, he is frustrated–something, and whatever happens next will set him off. So be cognizant of your child’s emotions, and have him express those emotions in the best way that he can (aside from a tantrum).

Parents and grandparents are really the best teachers for children because your children identity with you more than they do with anyone else. What you say means more.

So, simply work on language every chance you get and see if those temper tantrums subside.  In a nut shell, providing  your child the tools  to express him/herself, is a key to enjoying the terrific twos.